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Sunday Evening – Reggie Joiner NYWC 2009

Sunday, 22 November, 2009
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Again, raw notes from Reggie Joiner’s talk on Sunday night. Very very very good. Please read this and go buy his book “Think Orange”.

Amazing thoughts!! Props to our Children’s Pastor, Julie Chestnut, she brought this book to our staff’s attention a few months ago and we need to move on it!!!!

Sunday Evening – Reggie Joiner

/   sometimes we forget why we are here.

/   we are all here b/c we all agree on one thing: and that is this: the only thing that will matter 100 years from now, is a relationship with God.

/   at the end of all of this, if students grow up and miss God, nothing else really  matters.

/   we have this thing in us: i wanna go as high as i can go, i want to be around people who will talk with me about this, i wanna learn, train about these things.

/   yet at one point, it just comes down to one thing: what are you gonna do with what you’ve learned? will this conference, this conversation pay off?

/   if you were to walk out the door of yourministry and turn around and come back

in with the power to change anything in your ministry, what would you

change?

/   people change when the pain associated with the status quo, becomes greater

than the pain associated with the change.

/   we tend to be the slowest to make changes or make the adjustments we need to make. we get comfortable.

/   first principle about change: if you wanna build something that lasts, you gotta be willing to change the things you build. I”m gonna create it with open hands but somebody behind me might need to tweak it or change it. when i hinge my identity on that, i don’t give up control

/   “sometimes i walk into church’s and feel like its 1983” church’s can so easily get caught up and not change

/   if you do not change what you build, you cannot hope it stands.

/   second principle: the best way to keep team moving towards mission, is to frequently upgrade your systems.

/ one of the most powerful things about change, is that change is an unbelievable platform to remind people about our mission/vision. change is a great opportunity to remind people of the mission or the vision.   the church’s that don’t change threaten the mission. if youdon’t work harder and harder that your rethinking everything you do, you’ll get stuck in a culture that needs to know who god is.

/   we’ve gotta ask hard questions, pull, pull, talk about questions that aren’t easy. the best way to remind them of the mission, is to talk about changes that need to happen in order to reach the mission

/   it was the mission tht drove them.

/   third principle: every change gives you an opportunity to distinguish between what is core and what is cultural.

/   great things about hang: you can qualify two diff. categories > core and cultural

/   you need to know what is a core and cultural. the core doesn’t change, those are the foundation sof the faith. the cultural needs to change as the students change. it is our job as leaders “this is core, this is core this is core, this is cultural and needs to be changed”

/   when you get everyone on the same page that is core, it doesn’t cost you relationally and it doesn’t cost you.

/   fourth principal: when youdont upgrade, you lose your capacity to support more relevant approach.

/   circle relevant: think about this word. this word has a lot of baggage in christian spheres. this is misused a lot. what i mean when i say relevant: connecting to the matter of hand. taking the truth and connecting it to the matter of hand.

/   kids are leaving church b/c they don’t see how it works with them the other 6 days of the week. they need to understand what it looks like to have an everyday relationship with Jesus.

/   we take programs from another church, and try to form fit it to ours. we need to upgrade the system to our own picture. <downloading c4 photoshop onto ancient mac>

/   “If you want CS4 PHotoshoph to work for you, you’re gonna have to upgrade your system”

/   theres a reason why you can’t take of your tie and have a contemporary service/ theres a reason you cant add a band to an organ

/   when we’re more worried about making the people happy who are already there rather than reaching the people who aren’t in the church, we need to upgrade.

/   you can’t uild something that lasts, unless you willing to change

/   if you wanna create a culture that is influential to the people now, you must upgrade

/   fifth principle: effective organization create a culture that are intentional about upgrading critical

systems

/   think in these 5 sysemts:

1. system in your church that connect leaders

/   how are you getting adults on the same team. how are you playing together as a staff. are you crossing over silo’s. are you learning how to lean into each other and get on the same page. sit around a table for 2 or 3 hours and discuss, learn, debate.

/   youdon’t have to work at getting misaligned. you have to work at getting aligned.

/   pastors must LEAN INTO EACH OTHER! if we don’t learn how to play together, the generation behind us may suffer the consequences

2. the system you use to communicate truth

/   how you say what you say may determine whether the things you say get heard.

/   we have a calling of truth and to wrestle with how to communicate it and how a generation behind us will hear it.

/   they will not hear it the same way we hear it. it must be changed!! it must be chagned!!!! they may not be moved the same we are moved. they may not receive it the same way we receive it.

/   we undersand this through foreign mission trips. but the truth is this: we forget how to be missionaries in our land

3. the system that relates to how we partner with parents

/   this is super super super important

/   tendency: buy myth that parents for teens don’t make a difference and they are disengaging. the best thing we can do is this: lean into teens and tell them that there relationship with parents are more important than they think right now. pursue a right relationship with parents.

/   we say to parents: don’t disengage with teens. as teens move towards dependence, the best thing you can do is re define your roll as a parent. learn how to be a parent as they mature.

/   the parent has about 3,000 unkempt hours and if you can leverage them and get them on the same page as you, you can exponentially multiply your influence.

/   as leaders of teens, don’t give up on the family. don’t quit on parents. reinvent how you work with parents. god designed parents to transfer faith to students. Parents need leaders who will lean into them and give them hope. Yes the family is broken, we don’t fix it. we show them how to re engage with the story of god’s redemption and faith. THIS IS HUGE!!!!!!!!

/   4. the system that connects leaders to kids and leaders to students

/   as a church staff the greatest gift we can give is to put another adult in the life of a teen that will say the exact thing a Christian parent would say.

/   in the middle of the strategy, there is a relational thread that we need to put consistently in their life.

/   the teens that have consistent leaders, have a more mobilized faith. as a parent, the greatest gift to give were leaders in his kids life.

/   teens are going to look for affirmation somewhere else and we have the opportunity to put it in their life. so please look and tweak your system. don’t economize on the relationship side of ministry for production.

5. the system that we use to mobilize people to serve

/   we hold the key to teen boy’girl to what it means to be stretched and mature in life of God. we hold the power to have them plug in and minister in their own lives.

/   plug them into ministry or put them classes each week?

/   when it comes to HS, besides teaching truth, they need an opportunity to experience what god wants to do with them. this is one of the biggest shifts: how many, how many, to this question: what percentage of students are plugging in and doing ministry while they are with us.

/   if you wanna radically change teens, you make sure you give them opportunity to serve and opportunity to do ministry.

/   if youdon’t lean into them to give opportunities, you may sabotage their spiritual growth. one of the biggest things we can to show them what the church is, we give them an opportunity for them to serve.

/   “well the church exists to meet my need” they leave church thinking something they go do rather what it means to be the church

/    most important thing to do is this: your significant and god has a plan for your life. now let me give you oemthing significant to do b/c you will never know if i don’t’.

/   we gotta back up and look at ministry in new light. what do we need to tweak? you can’t build something that lasts unless your willing to ask hard questions and change things.

/   what are the things you need to go back home and change?

/   what has god pressed on me to change?

/  you need to have hard discussions. cause you may have to change this for god’s word.

/   don’t just listen to champions and don’t change. take action!!!

/   if your 50 + of age, stand up:here what i knw abbot you: most of youdont plan on retiring and i’m gonna ask you this: don’t coast into retirement and not make waves. how you hand off your ministry is very critical. i’m gonna ask you, the next decade you spend the relational change in your pocket so people coming behind you won’t be sacrificial lambs. and they’ll have people rallying behind them

/   30 – 40 yr. olds stand up: some of you are in your sweet spot right now, going strong and fast and hard, you’re living it: i’m gonna ask you to lead. i mean LEAD. it’s messy and its hard but we need leaders now more than ever b/c church is at crossroads and we need change. lean into generation coming up behind you but lead.

/   20 – 30


Parents and Students in the Church

Wednesday, 1 July, 2009
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These series of questions were posted on facebook today. Would like to get your feedback on them.

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I’d like some feedback regarding an issue that youth ministry has dealt with for some time. here are just a few questions and I’d like to hear your comments, start a dialogue regarding this and see where it leads:

#1 How do you effectively and efficiently engage/promote/encourage/mature the relationship of parents and teenagers?

#2 What is the impact of the relationship between teens and their parents have on their involvement in the church?

#3 What in your life was the most influential thing your parents did for you as a high school student, regardless of where you were in your faith or involvement in the church?

#4 What is the biggest thing a church can do to help you with your relationship with your teenager?

Thanks!!